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About Dnipro

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After a while, I finally felt a tug. My heart raced! I reeled it in, and guess what? A freaking boot! A boot! I was so mad, I almost threw my rod in the river. I mean, who loses a boot in the Dnipro? I could’ve sworn I heard the fish laughing at me.

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